Effective Ways to Discipline School Aged Children

By they time a child reaches school age, the back and forth process of separating from and reuniting with parents should be, for the most part, settled. School-aged children have many tasks that include:

• Tackling school work
• Learning how to get along with others
• Learning how to get along with authority figures other than mom and dad
• Being curious about how things work
• Becoming involved in hobbies, games and team sports

During this stage of growth, most boys play with boys and girls play with girls. Children of this age are eager to please and thrive on being given responsibilities and to show us how they can accomplish a task. The early school years are the time for setting standards for work attitudes that will be of use throughout the child's life.

We encourage you to offer children experiences that fit their own maturity level. If a child is pushed ahead too soon, and if too much is expected of him before he is ready, his failure may discourage him. Providing experiences that tap into skills that the child feels confident in, as well as some new skills that will challenge him, will provide the balance of activities which will facilitate healthy growth.

Effective disciplinary techniques for your school aged child are...

1. Fix-up.
   When children cause trouble or hurt another child, expect them to fix it up or at least try to help. If they break a toy, ask them to help you fix it. If they throw toys around the room; ask them to put them away.
   
   
2. Ignore.
   The best way to deal with misbehavior aimed at getting your attention is to simply ignore it. But be sure to give attention to your children when they behave well. Children need attention for good behavior, not misbehavior.
   
   
3. Be Firm.
   Clearly and firmly state, or even demand, that the child do what needs to be done. Do not use a wishy-washy tone of voice. Speak in a tone that lets your child know that you mean what you say and that you expect the child to do it. Being firm doesn't mean yelling, threatening, resigning, or taking away privileges. Being firm works for any age child and for many situations.
   
   
4. Stay in Control.
   Act before the situation gets out of control, before you get angry and overly frustrated and before the child's behavior becomes unreasonable.
   
   
5. Separation.
   When children irritate one another, fight, squabble, hit or kick, have them rest or play apart for a time. Being apart for a while lets each calm down. Then you can use other ways to encourage better behavior.
   
   
6. Behavior Management.
   Talk with children calmly to learn what caused a disagreement. Then talk about ways to deal with it. Come to a solution that's agreeable to both you and the children. This helps children learn to be responsible for their behavior.
   
   
7. Redirection.
   When children get rowdy, stop them, explain why you are stopping them, and suggest another activity. When they knock over paint, give them a cloth and pail of water to clean up the mess. When they race dangerously indoors, take them outside for a game of chase. When they throw books at each other, gather them for a story time or organize a beanbag toss. This works especially well with very young children.
   
   
8. Praise.
   Give more attention and praise for good behavior. Don't make punishment a reward. Children who like attention may be naughty just to get attention. Protect and preserve children's feelings that they are lovable and capable. The type of discipline parents use influences the type of person a child becomes. What type of person do you want your child to become?
   

Resource: The North Carolina Affiliate of the National Committee to Prevent Child Abuse
   Prevent Child Abuse
    North Carolina, Inc.
    3344 Hillsborough St., Ste. 100-D
    Raleigh, NC 27607